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Day 136 Cholesterol Blues


Good morning.  It’s been a bit since I’ve been bitten with the writing bug.  Lots of stuff seems to be going on.  I’m fighting a cholesterol battle with my doctor’s office. 3 months ago I checked in with a score of 230.  200 is the cutoff point so they were concerned.  All the other markers were off as well, what should have been low was high and what should have been high was low.  Too much sugar in my diet.  Yuck.  So I’ve been pounding down supplements and trying to eat different but I guess if you have a donut for breakfast dessert your numbers aren’t going to go in the direction you want them to go.  Crap.  Now I have to make a commitment to eat low carb, high fiber food for the next 3 months to see where the numbers end up.  Yes, it’s a challenge, the gauntlet has been thrown down and I, being a man, will take this challenge, at least 85% or so.  I gots to have some chocolate chip cookies sometimes.  You just can’t waste every night eating chalk and beetles, right?  My latest number is 209 so I’m going in the right direction but I want it to be 150 or so.  Is that unrealistic?  I have no idea.  I just ordered some low carb cookbooks and I will make the attempt to stock my pantry with girl fool to be prepared.

I’ve been out of work with a weird cough that I can feel in my back muscles as well as chest when I do cough.  Odd.  I don’t feel sick but it’s an achy cough.  Maybe it’s the death throes of my cholesterol on its way out.

Along with all of this I’ve been gaining weight!  No!!!  My worst nightmare is waking up looking like a man of sixty with the big gut, bellowing chin etc.  Thank god I still have my hair.  I just can’t imagine settling for that in my life.  It’s vain to a degree but I’ve worked many years in surgery and I know the health challenges of excess weight.  I won’t have it.  Part of me is satisfied saying it’s muscle weight as I’ve been riding my bike a lot.  Putting in 20+ miles rides on the weekend and then doing random pushups every day.  Pushing the envelope for this old man is the ticket.  I don’t have to wear petite sizes now but I refuse to buy anything 2XL.  I just don’t need to.

When I was first diagnosed with BiPolar they gave me this medicine, Depakote.  I gained 30 - 40 lbs in less than six months, up to 215 lbs!  I told my doctor I’d rather be crazy than fat.  I spent the next year losing that weight and I got all the way down to 175.  I felt good.  I was still taking crazy pills but they were different types.  Now almost all meds with screw with your metabolism so I learned not to eat the obvious swill and kept weight at that level for 5 years.  This past year I popped up to 185 but it’s a better weight (I tell myself) and it doesn’t look to bad.  However, in the past few months, I have broken the 190 barrier and I don’t like it.  This is where the muscle weight theory is coming in.  I’ll do the pushups to back up that theory just to spite myself.  Does that even make sense?

This is what it’s like to hit your 60’s I guess.  Everything changes.  Your weight, your diet, your tolerance for stupidity, your stamina, your recovery from long bike rides, etc.  The mind stays in a stasis, likes it’s permanently in its 20’s with a bit more maturity.  Everything looks shiny still.  Except the for the numbers glistening on the lab reports.  Ugh.

1.        I’m grateful that I have the desire to keep my weight in check.

2.       I’m grateful for my daily meditation.

3.       I’m grateful for the new coleus plants I planted in my garden this weekend.

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