So this is the crux of the second marriage thing. I was sober in AA, had a job, coached Hannah's soccer team, dealt with Ry and his gaming addiction as a teenager in high school. It was a pretty normal life. I had waited 13 years between marriages to make sure I was doing the right thing. I had had a crush on Nan for over a decade and thought that we were friends first, lovers second and the natural thing I thought to do was to be married. I loved her, loved her daughter. Shit, I had a garden, compost pile, my first house I bought, doing all kinds of DIY to the house. I got along good with Ry despite our spill out over his gaming. I was doing life. I wasn't getting into head trips and I was minding my own business. I guess I thought I had arrived. In hindsight I guess it was all outside stuff I was focused on. And why wouldn't I? I don't know when the cancer started but it did. One cell started to turn and it convinced a few more of its buddies to hop on