I keep thinking I’m getting better. Better at life, better making choices, better with my behavior. Then it seems to cave in on itself in a bout of narcissistic self-absorption. I guess some days I just don’t get it. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar and maybe all I can hope for is that there will be moments that I do get it but with mountain sized bookends of only trying to figure it out. Maybe the miracle is that I am trying to figure it out, at least I’m making a fight out of it. I wonder if I’m fighting or flirting with a depression now. Typically they’re a downer, tiredness, ennui, isolation, self slutdom, the worst. But today I feel very tired and tested every day. I slept for most of the day Saturday and forced myself out of bed Sunday to ride my bike. I had to get out and breathe. If being tired is the only symptom this time then maybe I can tolerate it but it won’t subside or bide the tide at this level. This is one of the reasons I’ve decided to wr