Okay I’m unskillful in my hyper active emotional requests. They come off more as a bull in the china shop syndrome than poppies fluttering in an early morning breeze. But it’s my desire to live my life as honestly as I can with self-integrity. It’s not a natural process that I can pull this off with grace but I’m pulling it off for the right reason regardless. I’m talking primarily of course about my relationship with women. My relationships with men wallow in the mire also but that touches a different part of me intrinsically. The last 5 women I’ve had feelings for have sent me to places that are all over the planet. One was a long term (over 2 years) and the others just a moments breath, fog on the mirror and then done. And not all have been relationships rather feelings that goose stepped through my emotional parade with crushing pervasive personal truths. Revealing patterns that I come back too ultimately and repeatedly to no avail. Patterns that I realize a