Swifty phiphty niner

  May is Bike Month!   Yay!   I get to ride my bike to work now and get little internet medals.   I will do it.   I signed up for 200 miles this May.   I did 150 last year and I had to ride 90 miles the last 9 days to make the goal.   But I made it.   Yeah some say it’s about the journey but I journeyed hard those last days to make a goal I set for myself.   I will parse it out a bit better this month, or so I say.    I do love riding my bike and since I’m getting fatter this is the perfect time to get on it every day!   I ordered some low-carb cookbooks from Amazon yesterday and will try to alter my diet.   I don’t eat badly, I just don’t really eat well.   Half the time I skip lunch and I don’t think that’s healthy.   Then I’m starving and I take a small bag of Fritos hostage.   No mercy for that sack of corn chips.   Of course I down it with a Rock Star or a Monster so I’m planning my night’s restless sleep as well.   I try to make dinners for myself but Trader Joe’s just

Good morning.   It’s been a bit since I’ve been bitten with the writing bug.   Lots of stuff seems to be going on.   I’m fighting a cholesterol battle with my doctor’s office. 3 months ago I checked in with a score of 230.   200 is the cutoff point so they were concerned.   All the other markers were off as well, what should have been low was high and what should have been high was low.   Too much sugar in my diet.   Yuck.   So I’ve been pounding down supplements and trying to eat different but I guess if you have a donut for breakfast dessert your numbers aren’t going to go in the direction you want them to go.   Crap.   Now I have to make a commitment to eat low carb, high fiber food for the next 3 months to see where the numbers end up.   Yes, it’s a challenge, the gauntlet has been thrown down and I, being a man, will take this challenge, at least 85% or so.   I gots to have some chocolate chip cookies sometimes.   You just can’t waste every night eating chalk and beetles, righ

Ry came over last night and I related to him my current world of woe.  Or rather the woe that is creeping around in my world. I’m woe-K, just some unsettled events that are speed bumps currently.  He gave me good advice, solid advocacy and kind support.  Thank you Ry. What I told him was the current status of my relationships with women.  None.  And it is okay mind you but I had embers burning and now it is all just swept up ash.  My latest attraction hit a snag and I was a bit blindsided with jealousy and hurt and not sure how to react.  I wanted to “sit with the pain” as that is a new standard that I’m adhering to but I realized I wasn’t sure how to do that.  My first reaction was to not react and I did just that.  I reacted of course in my mind but not to “her”.  I called my sponsor and told him my feelings and asked questions about how to revel in rejection, how to celebrate my non-reactiveness, how do I sit with the pain.  He said I was already doing that by calling him and n

I’m really at a standstill with my writing.    I want to be a Buddhist dude with the mentality of the now.   I promise I won’t talk with a Quaalude voice though when I see you.   I want the effort of any will to be only aware of the present and not dogged by the angst of the past or the anxiety of the future.   I am being coached by my sponsor to write a brief, brief history of my life.   No, no I’m not going to put it in a blog!   But if I did, what would I call it?   “It’s A Meteor!   The short bright light of Pherstory.”   “Awakening In Hell, A Tale Of Nurtured Angst.”   “Chris, The Middle One.”   “Hypersensitized, A Story Of A Middle Child.”   “Born In The 50’s, Raised By A Wolf And A Sheep.”   Born a decade too soon and raised a century too late.   Controlled by external forces too powerful to contain in the brain of a child.   “Swept Away By The Rocking, The Wiggling, The Activity, the motion of a boy to insecure to call home home.”   “Why Don’t You Love Me?” And of course

“Does anyone here know Volt Shirley? If you do, I’m going to kill that mother next time I see him!” Okay, he’s going to kill my brother, he’s got my interest; I’ll bite. “Why, oh why are you going to kill him?” I hope my beer doesn’t go stale waiting for this idiot, Harvey, to answer. “Why do you want to know?” “Well, as his brother, I’d like to tell my parents at the funeral the noble reason why he died.” The night sky exploded in a profusion of stars, moons, planets and galaxies. I wasn’t sure how I came to be this spaceman when a moment earlier I was sipping a beer with friends and locals in Chasey’s Field off of old Witchtrot Road in South Berwick, Maine. And then it hit me. No not an emotional realization but the bat in Harvey’s hand. Whap! Uh oh, more stars. A lot more stars. Whap, whap! Fuck, my head is getting bashed in! This was no field trip to the local observatory. No, this was an old fashioned melon busting by this completely deranged douche bag. I was lying on

This is a story about a 2nd interview I had with a great company. It was scary interviewing for a job at 56! It’s just scary interviewing for any job but after so many years on my current job (11 +) I didn’t anticipate this being part of my reality. I really liked where I was, but IBM had peculiar ways of casting off contractors which was my title at the time…yuck. But a second interview! Yeah! Pull out my interview flash cards; what are my strong points (creative, relentless when I need to learn something), weak points (too creative, waaaay too relentless), good questions to ask (what qualities do I have to shine at to merit all the good guy medals, what’s the management style, are IT coffee breaks still an hour long?). Okay, got that. Suit back from the dry cleaner, black pressed suit. Okay, maybe, just maybe, they won’t see the little moth holes I just discovered on the back of the pants legs…ohhh drat…. White shirt freshly pressed, conservative tie (no, not the Jerry Garcia

Hi.   It’s been a bit since I’ve written anything.   I feel so energized with everything that’s been happening in my life lately.   And it’s just life that’s been happening.   I still come to work every day, I go home and make something to eat and then watch some TV.   I have found time to meditate each day, a good 21 – 22 minute sit.   I’ve been riding my bike to work most days and that is great.   I talk to Ry and he’s come over a couple of times to hang out with his old man.   Yeah, so its life, and I’m doing it and it feels great. Ry turned me on to a TV show called Supernatural and I’ve found the perfect addiction to satisfy my addiction center for now.   It’s in its 10 th season and I’ve started with Season 1 and am slowly rolling through each episode.   It’s not expanding the mind electric but it does have a calming effect on my brain.   They’re brothers fighting the supernatural evil in the world, er, United States and they stay sane for the most part.   Now my job some